Life-new hair new revelations

Today I held my best friends granddaughter Ava. I 'd seen her pictures but saw her in person for the first time today. As I held her I looked at her and with 100% assurance that by the time she is a teenager there will be a cure for breast cancer.
A cure that doesn't take you're breast, you're hair, your self esteem, and as I write this there is so much breast cancer gave me. It made me see that I am quite humorous and definitely have a sense of humour. I have courage, I am brave, I can get through it if god brings me to it. I have seen friendship that knows no bounds, I have a love from a man that I thought was only in the movies or books. I've watched a son go from an immature teenager into a man.
People tell me they admire me and I like that except I know these people would drum up all that they have to fight this fight. Because others have and they are fighting.
I had lots of plans while going through this. I thought I would do a series of paintings inspired by the cancer and the journey. But that is on hold until I have more strength, I get one good week or a few days between chemos and that strength has to go to my family.
I went without wearing my wigs for almost a month, just wore scarves or hats. I wore my wig yesterday and was hit on two different times!!!!!! Ah yeah wearing for now on. Whoohoo never thought I would feel sexy again but I did. Who doesn't like a lil attention , just because they were in their 80's no just joshing... 65!
Because of cancer I know what someone with a disability a really visual one feels like. People see that I am bald and jump right to cancer and I get the "cancer smile", or they look and look away really fast. Like they'd turn to stone if they looked into my eyes. I love the ones who have had loved ones take this journey, if they have been touched by cancer they have a spirit that is so genuine.
This week this feeling really good week, I have laughed more and enjoyed more of people places and things then I have in months. I know this will all soon be behind me and I will get less and less attention, all ready people are like "this over yet".
Touching my peach fuzz and guessing the colour my hair is going to be is a favourite game many play now when they see me. This is actually fun, because all emphasis is off anything sad.
I know there was alot more I wanted to say tonight but my short term memory has everything erased.
xoxo
1 chemo left jan 27th pray for me please, I've made it through 5 without serious complications all fingers crossed. Then I'm on to the next phase of this incredibley long journey. Ahh but the trip has been fascinating.