February's Update

Going into February was hard as hard as could be. How many chemo patients get to be whisked off to Louisiana and suddenly be standing in Elvis Presley's changing room at the Louisiana Hayride a huge venue that had radio broadcasts on Saturday nights int he forties and fifties. Many greats got their starts there. The changing room that had belonged to Elvis was never changed or touched. Louisiana was in a state of confusion, exhilaration and shouting Hallelujah from street corners, their cherished Saints won the Superbowl and it was Mardi Gras. Being in New Orleans at this time was surreal. So naturally after a week of all this and going on shoots with Frank and his crews I got a cold that turned into the cold from hell. When our week of shooting ended we were flying to Atlanta for Valentines day. After a week of gumbo, rice, jambalaya, grits and somethings I can't pronounce nor wish to. From my medications and flying I was starting to bloat up.
So we get to our friends who are 25 years younger then us and they are in the music business ans personal trainers. Their frig had "healthy written all over it" , we arrived on Sunday night and the next day Kim my lil body builder says hey sue lets go down to my gym and we'll have a lil work out. INside I was saying not on your skinny arms life plus I have a cold but no I go. Chinese Torture Chambers must be real cause I was in one. Needless to say I couldn't walk and smile at the same time for the next two days. Did I tell you I was in "ATLANTA" Shopping??? No with the cold which was now worse and every part of my body ached I watched literally as Frank discovered "Filenes Basement" and shopped until he dropped!!!! He even bought a new suitcase. I bought two hats. So that's how I ended my 6 months of chemo .......I came home still sick and other then meeting the lead guitarist with Elvis's band and his lovely wife......exhausted from it all.
Now listen I'm not one to whine, I think I have been pretty good going through all this. I have lots to be grateful for.
OK next the 18th of February, I know I'm going to be happy today because that tissue expander is coming out!!! I`ve explained the expander, and I will again, had I not needed radiation this would have been filled on a regular basis to make room for an eventual implant. Due to my protocol I couldn't`t go this way. So I go and have the day surgery and after three days took off the bandages and what did I see ...............how the prairies must have looked from Frank`s window when he was a boy. Flat flat fffffffffffffffffllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. With the expander I had had a bump. Well I start the tears Frank comes in the bathroom, now here is a man who cries everytime he even thinks of the cartoon `Happy Feet``, so I am looking for a hug and he says honey just another `bump`` in the road , I turn on him like an Indian ready to scalp someone then calmly say...do you see a bump there...then more waterworks.
Well its been a week and I am done with most of the dramatics...learning to deal with this. I will have my radiation in April so I will have lots to report then.
My hair on a light note is coming in , here`s a tip to people who run into people whose hair is growing in. Or lets just say if you run into me all I want you to say is ...Oh yes its blonde!!!!!!!!! I don`t want you to say salt and pepper, black, brown. Frank needs a break from my meltdowns.
You know I`ve had struggles in my lifetime and when I think back to ...there..........well I got here. So when I look ahead and see ...where..........I need to go ...I just need to remember I got here, and that I got here one day at a time. Getting to there from here isn`t easy right now, the road seems long and I`m tired. Blogging has helped I took a break and I`m back. Remember I love comments. xoxoxox Sue

Bald is Beautiful

Oh I try to sound so profound. Well Chemo is done.however I am still breast less on the left side, its cold out and my head is cold. I still have 10 extra pounds from the steroids etc etc etc... Oh poor me my sucker is in the snow today. I still have to wear hats and scarves and wigs. Not so much fun some days. But yup I am optimistic and my hair is growing and before you know it my reconstruction will be here. I have a new treadmill to lose the extra 10.
Oh and I am going to New Orleans on Saturday Frank has a for a week then we go to Atlantat to visit friends there. Can you say Shopping Shopping Shopping. I also get to be the on set Photographer and am getting paid so those new boots will have been earned.,
I have alot to be grateful for. Yes I do. But I am human and its been a long haul. We just want to be at the end of this. I took Robb and his friends to the Mall today they chipped in and bought me a rose. I drove them from A to B back to A then to C all day and they thanked me with that. Funny how I forget and catch people looking at me like I'm a cancer patient. I have never really except when on oncology ever really felt like one. People look , I look back and they cast their eyes down fast. I used to stare at people when I was younger and didn't know any better. It's not like every second person is bald in the mall with their scarf twisted and you can see the baldness. I am lucky I am a little ego based and forget quickly and today I was looking for nice inexpensive photo frames, when I caught this woman staring. I just smiled at her and commented on the beautiful frames for next to nothing.
Hmmn so I guess tonight I am a little hung up on the fact chemo is done but I am still bald still and always be now a Breast Cancer Survivor. Never wanted this. But if God brings you to it He will bring you through it. And he is and I am getting through this. I will never cut my hair again................