Meltdown Day

Well I did it I melted down. I was tired of the tissue expander in my breast. Its sore and irritating and doesn't make me feel like dressing up. I love to dress up or look good who doesn't. I collect my clothes from vintage shops, flea markets, mall sales, designer sales. You'd think I spend a fortune but I don't. Tomorrow I vow to get up do my hair put on makeup dress up in my boots I got from France and get out of the house. I am lonely here. Need to see the world alive people working kids playing. Police cars chasing, teenagers smoking or making out. Little girls walking in cliques. I miss it.
Isolation isn't good so I will do more then blog and receive guests like a princess in her castle being coddled.
Enough I'm heading on out. I want to smile more laugh more and hug more. No more talks around the Island about the cancer the reconstruction It has its place. I want to keep living one day at a time and enjoy the journey. I need to reread my blogs and remind myself of the wonders. I saw a documentary on Salmon today. Loved it. So much more to learn instead of what the beautiful so call people in Hollywood are doing. If I see another interview with Jon Gosselin and Kate I will remove all televisions from the house.
My son still needs to be parented and his childish ways need to be reined in a little. So there now you know its not all courage from me. I fall and make a big puddle. So what my cat wants to bring me mice which I hate. she loves me. she cried for me last night and I couldn't stand it. What if I didn't have this lil angel who sleeps with me she actually puts her paws around my neck and hugs me. I wouldn't let her lately because she had a mouse in her mouth. Somethings I getta get over. I used to dance around the kitchen I will again.
I have amazing friends. Two came today the minute they knew I was crashing they were here and they both have gone through it. So that's it I'm allowed to have a bad day but not a bad week.
I can be a piece of work.